Aren’t we in a pickle?

There’s this itch that I need to get out of my system. You have overstayed your welcome, itch. This feeling that is caused by prisoned identity, toxic workspace, self inflicted loneliness, and quite frankly and simply: fear and laziness.

The are many things that I am attempting to do and this is my muted cry for help. I am in need of my community and I am convinced that this personal creative space is my entry ticket. Putting myself out here as long as needed till I find you is the title of my solo.

Who’s even reading blogs anymore?

I have just received the unofficial news that my day job will be made redundant soon, again. This happened before, around the same time last year. One thing I am proud of myself this time round is just how calm I am during the process. However, it is suspected that the above mentioned, intermittent itch may be caused by just how, actually, not calm I am underneath, way deep in my mental state.

In this week’s self paced study session on burnout prevention, it is suggested to establish habits to spot my own strength in times of challenge. What is my strength? I know what’s not. Creativity. Yet, that’s not the question. My strength is resilience. I usually need some time to identify and moderate mixed feelings of unknowns that can result to unmotivated, worst case scenario depressive spirals of inefficiency. However, once I have gotten to the bottom of the pit, my survival instinct will kick in and my own hand will reach out to pull me up. Starting small, I complete one simple task at a time. I turn off instagram, I look outwards and I take a walk in the park. I stop by the grocery to pick up some cucumbers, mushroom and a bag of apples. I wash my produce and cut them into individual boxes for consumption. I share some with my dog. I take a shower and I read a book. Then, I tune in to audible for a good night brain massage.

I feel so much better now.

So here I am, a product of my resilience wearing “charge forward” in bold on my t-shirt. I will lean into my flow of learning about self, growth and build a community while I am at it. I will find ways to give back while seeking support within this community. I will also activate my creative switch and see how far it takes me. This is what I am most excited about because I feel an oppressed creative side of me wanting to be unleashed. So tune in, you might be in for a bumpy fun ride.

And if no one’s reading blogs anymore, let’s put fear of judgement out of the story.